According to a recent report in the business pages, West Ham are currently the 17th richest football club in the world. We are in amongst football’s elite made up of European superpowers to domestic league winners. Multiple cup winners whose squads boast medalists from just about every cup competition on the planet. How marvellous to be on par with such illustrious and wealthy compatriots. We’ve made it, we’re doing alright thank you very much.
Well, we ain’t too good though are we? Still looking for that final point to secure our Premier League status for another season we’ve three more games to go to before we put this season to bed and wake up in August ending the nightmare.
So here’s the rundown of the top twenty, you be the judge if they’re doing alright.
20: Everton. Bought Jordan Pickford and Gylfi Sigurdsson for a combined fee of 75 million. Rejuvenated under the leadership of Sam Allardyce who’s not proving to be a popular choice amongst many of the Blues’ faithful (now there’s a surprise).
19: Napoli. Hot on the heels of Juventus and Champions League competitors this season.
18: Southampton. Surprisingly on the list mainly due to television rights and finalists in last season’s League Cup. Relegation looks a possibility.
17: West Ham. Television deal and matchday revenue. Nothing to report on the pitch. Relegation looks a possibility.
16: Schalke 04. Second in the Bundesliga and Champions League regulars.
15: Inter Milan. Italian heavyweights sitting 5th in Serie A in a disappointing season so far.
14: Leicester. Recent Premier League winners with a short and sweet stint in the Champions League. A steady season despite medalists departing, a change in manager and Riyad Mahrez having a strop.
13. Atletico Madrid. Second in Spanish La Liga. Recently moved into a state of the art 68000 seater stadium. Antoine Griezmann and Diego Costa head up their attack.
12: Borussia Dortmund. Third in Germany’s top tier.
11: Tottenham Hotspur. Nothing to report.
10: Juventus. On course for a seventh consecutive Serie A win. Regular nearly men of the Champions League.
9: Liverpool. The scousers are on the up.
8: Chelsea. Nothing to report at time of going to press.
7: PSG. Running away with the French league assisted by 200 million dollar man Neymar.
6: Arsenal. Glory days behind them since moving stadium. Will slip further down the list until an adequate man is found to replace Arsene Wenger.
5: Manchester City. Landed on their feet when they hooked up with a sugar daddy.
4: Bayern Munich. Head and shoulders above their rivals and the most successful in German football.
3: FC Barcelona. Messi and a few other decent players. There’s two things guaranteed in this world. Wherever you go on this planet you’ll see a Coca-Cola sign and someone wearing a Barcelona shirt.
2: Real Madrid. Ronaldo and his crew doing what they do in the Champions League. Disappointing in the Spanish La Liga.
1: London’s most successful club that play in Salford are Manchester United. Kings of The Premier League. Jose Mourino’s squad have underachieved with uninspiring performances but are second to their noisy neighbours. A global brand that is recognised all over the planet.
So that’s the rundown and it’s quite depressing to see how successful our wealthy compatriots are doing. Something isn’t working along the way and both on and off the pitch things need to change. We certainly have the financial clout to compete but I feel it’s off the pitch that things have to change. We need someone who’s had success in steering a football club in the right direction. Presently our wheels have come off and we’re heading towards a cliff.
This looks like it’s a job for International Rescue.